Anathema from Changeling by Changeling

“Theology I can bring myself
to study no more.
I long to take nature to my heart,
that nature before whose depth
the faint-hearted theologian shrinks back;
and with nature man, man in his entire quality.” (- Ludwig Feuerbach)

the thing itself is all there is
beholding itself in sentient glee
in its vast and baffling windings
containing all infinity

nihilissimus

manifold nothing
the purging
of the damned
even the leptons
have been conquered
conquered by decay
yet here I am

I sink
therefore I am
for a given value of “I”
and a given value of “am”

a boundless light expands, creating
a flame, to burn the castles in the sky
go chase your clouds,
only shrouds are waiting
I stay below to watch things grow,
as do I

nothing is “for” anything else
nothing is anything else
actually
nothing is

“to be” is a lie
a blasphemy
against the very heart of existence
and the engine of entropy

implying stasis
- immutability -
should be believable
or even conceivable

in the beginning
there was heat exchange
and that’s all there will ever be
until heat dies
at the end of all things

from tiny discrepancies
in homogeneity
sprang - unbelievably -
absolutely everything there is to see

a boundless light expands, creating
a flame to burn the castles in the sky

what more gargantuan mystery
can you demand
seriously
than the sheer existence of existence
gracing every level of infinity
what could possibly transcend
this world too big to comprehend
what else is the universe
than self-contained divinity

the thing itself is all there is
beholding itself in sentient glee
in its vast and baffling windings
containing all infinity

what god do you think to find
beyond a cosmos with no outside
why is “everything” not enough for you
why concoct more poison
for the already blind

don’t worship me
unless you worship everything
don’t reject me
unless you reject everything
don’t worship god
we burn that bridge when we get to it
and least of all
worship yourself

alone I stand
on a mountain of dead selves
everything to gain
everywhere to go

barely worthy
of this dirt that holds me up
this most exalted Below

phenomenal complexity
wherever you look - literally
crushing sublime buds of truth underfoot
in myriads, with every bumbling step

spare me these laughable fantasies
inane projections of wannabes
that exceed the infamy
of denying the true size of reality
presumptuous claims of ownership
of randomly made-up divinity

you still dare to stand there
like a boil oozing atter
in between me
and the cosmos that bore me
spraying your vacuous lies-over-matter
over all I hold dear
please, just ignore me
as you force me to forever ignore you

I and this Great Beast which you so despise are one
adore me
abhor me
doesn’t matter
just please move a little out of my sun

all we could possibly need
has always already been there

it’s so mind-bogglingly simple
that it’s obviously beyond us

don’t need your judgement,
not your blessing
your heaven’s so small and full of despair
salvation beckons, bland and depressing
a charade of vain and hollow lies,
your prayers

anathema
awakening
it’s the twilight of the charlatans
its demented feckless courtesans
still screaming as they walk off the cliff
anathema
awakening
it’s the twilight of the charlatans

this I know
in the afterglow
of a cremated paradigm

when cleansed of godly grime
what’s left isn’t much
but more than enough
to the clairvoyant mind

to merge
free and sublime
with the erratic beautiful pulse
that’s creating all space and time

those phantom “they”
you always forced to bear
the blame of the world, I’ll be them forever
while rabid prophets froth and revel
in lies, the ties through soul and flesh shall sever

where fake messiahs spawn the devil
I shall rise
for I am he forever

forever

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